By Manoj J Lekhi
What is true love?
What is pure love?
What is love itself?
When you love without conditions – then you just love, for the sake of love, for the purity of love, for the love of love that is – ‘True Love.’
Just like the trees that don’t know who sits under them, they simply give their love, their shade, their 100% to who so ever comes by. Just like a breeze blows and gives its coolness to all who are there, not bothering whether they are man, woman, rich, or poor. Just like the moonlight, which gives its beauty to who so ever, receives it. The flowers too give their fragrance to all those who pass by, whether they are a robber or a saint everyone gets a whiff of it.
The receiver needs to be sensitive to receive. The giver gives and gives all the time. This is pure love! A love without conditions, with-out a motive, without possessiveness, is pure and true love!
There are different kinds of love and relationships. One is a man to woman relationship, the romantic love. Then there is the parent’s love for the children; there is a man’s love for his brothers, sisters; a person’s love towards his parents.
There is another love towards friends; there is another type of love towards society and the world. There exists the love of working / playing in the office, love for whatever activity you do.
Whenever you love doing whatever you do and the whole process of activity is giving you so much joy, that is love in action. Here the end is the process itself, this is when a person experiences, ‘effortlessness.
’Love in your work can be a prayer; the ultimate prayer, where you do what you do for the love of doing it. So, the end is itself in the process. In today’s world very few people experience this. Those who do experience it, are blessed!
Looking at romantic love between a man and woman, we see that 99% of these relationships end up and turn into a relationship of tremendous hate between them. Their life oscillates between intense love, tremendous hate and terrible fights; this is not true love.
When man and woman love each other without possessiveness or possessing, without saying that you are mine and I am yours, without binding to duties, conditions and expectations, you love because you love. And the person is there because you truly love. You simply appreciate the other; you are so full of joy.
The expression of joy is love to the other that is an ideal relationship between man and woman. If one is not experiencing this, one needs to evolve, by going through sadhana. When we go into a deep sadhana and come to an understanding that, ‘Nothing is Mine’. This brings us to experience of tremendous freedom.
The same conditions, and principles of life apply with regards to loving your child.
The child is not yours and you are just a trustee.
When you are able to be with a child in this way you love him 100%. Whether the child is there or not there, yet you are in love, there is a tremendous acceptance of the other.
The same applies in your relationship with parents and between couples. Be grateful; be thankful for what they have done to you. In that gratefulness is your love towards them, they have played their part to the best.
In gratitude, in your thankfulness towards them is your freedom.
Whatever they have been, they have done their best; be thankful for that. If your relationship with your father and mother is complete, you will feel a sense of fulfillment a great joy and freedom. If there is any difference, hindrance, between your parents and you, there will be tremendous pain, guilt, turmoil, confusion and disturbance in you.
If at all there is such a gap, complete it however difficult it may sound. However tough it may be, just go meet the persons concerned and complete your relationships. Do the advance programs where this becomes extremely easy, the
BST makes this happen effortlessly.
We also experience love towards society, the world, this love in action is what we call Seva. The person who is extremely joyful, free and happy with his life, he will naturally express his love in society through seva (action) in any form. A SSY teacher is an embodiment of seva. Initially that is a very fine way to express your love towards everyone. Later on one has to go through deeper and deeper sadhana to express it in many different ways.
Love exists between male friends and they also need to relate by the conditions like non-expectations etc. If you can extend this pattern of ‘No conditions’ towards your other relationships also, you will feel tremendously free. Women may also be close amongst themselves, but with their closeness normally jealousy and other bhavas (emotions) come into play which one has to go beyond.
Finally, there is love between a disciple (Shishya) and Guru, (Satguru) that love is the ultimate love. When the disciple has surrendered to his Master, that love has no comparison. It is higher than the love between parent and child. It is the highest form of love where you have surrendered to the Guru and he simply takes care, this is called Guru-agya. You are so much in love that even if he scolds it is a blessing, even if he does not look at you it is a grace, the Master does not speak to you, it is still a grace. They say the Guru scolds the one who is close to him; if he is not close to you then why will he scold you? The parent normally scolds his own child because he has given him so much. It is the same with the Guru. The relationship of love between Master and disciple is the highest form of love, the ultimate prayer. It is even higher than the love between a Bhakta and God.
Guru, Govind, donno khade,
Kake lagoo paay,
Balihari Guru aap ki
Jo Govind deeyo dikhaye.
If Guru and God are both present, whose feet will you touch?
You should touch the Guru’s feet first because without him you would not recognize God. You would not experience Godliness or meet God. So that is the highest form of love.
The Bhakta (devotee) and God are separate. The Bhakta prays to God, where as the disciple and Guru have merged and become One. Love in its purest form is when the disciple meets his Guru, surrenders to his Guru, merges with his Guru. Only blessed people are able to find their Satguru.