The Problem with Honour
Excerpts from the book ‘Thank You Guruji!’ by Manoj J Lekhi (Amrut Vivek).
Many many years ago, I don’t remember the year. Guruji had founded a Foundation Council of three members, whom he felt he would give all the responsibility to run RSVK. One of the three members was myself.
When I was appointed as a Foundation Council Member, once again I felt very very nice and special that I was appointed. My ego took a real boost, and I started to feel different from all other meditators and teachers, unconsciously, but I didn’t know this at that time.
Deep inside I knew I was not eligible to be one of the 3 members because really truthfully I had not in spirit owned up RSVK at that point. Anyways this continued for many years till one day Guruji called all of us and in one of the meetings he just told me, please give your resignation as Foundation Council member as he also had realized that I wasn’t living upto his expectations.
For me Guruji’s word has always been final all throughout my life so it didn’t take me more than a second to write it down and give it. But inside me there was a big thud!
That is the time I realised that the position had given me somebodyness or lots of ego unconsciously. He would often do this on regular basis continuously to many people, one to one, and many a times in huge audiences.
After that day I would never feel hurt or disturbed by Guruji putting me down in front of a crowd or in front of a number of people. I had tasted it once and realised and learnt it would not affect me.
Thereafter many times when I would get a gathering in front of Guruji he would laugh and mock at my actions or methods or me and I would laugh further on myself in front of everyone. It was a great exchange of a Guru cutting a disciple just to shape him and I was always ready to be shaped and chiseled and sculpted.
And every single time, he did this, he was just teaching me the perils of honour. He was teaching me to not let honour get to my head. He was perhaps preparing me for my life’s mission, which will involve being honoured & dishonoured umpteen number of times, but I should remain grounded. And I have.
Thank you Guruji!