The Judgement Trap
An article from the book ‘Are you a SuperLeader?’ by Manoj J Lekhi (Amrut Vivek).
Some days ago in our Gurukul, one of our team members, Suresh (names changed) came to me and started complaining about his colleagues, Shyam and Karthik who were not working properly. He complained that Shyam does not focus on his work and that he only argues about different things and the same goes for Karthik. In this frustration, Suresh had approached me seeking a remedy. Both of them work under Suresh and he claimed that they were not responsive enough. They avoid instructions and even if they worked, it was improper and inefficient.
Looking at Suresh, I started to wonder that, we have received so much knowledge from my master, about gratitude, about unconditional love, about living together in joyfulness but this person has understood nothing and this thought had left me irritated. As I introspected on this further, I suddenly became aware that now even I am complaining about Suresh’s situation, that he is not trying to comprehend the knowledge given to him
First it was Shyam and Karthik, then Suresh and now I was complaining and passing judgements. Suddenly, I realized I too had fallen into the judgement trap. I immediately analyzed myself and caught my thought pattern, that what I was doing was pulling myself in a low vibration state.
I dropped all my complaints regarding them and realized that let them be the way they want to be. I explained Suresh, ‘You can’t do much about it, but you can change the way you perceive this situation. I have dropped my thoughts and grievances about you and the situation and I am completely relaxed and okay with the way you are. If I were you, I would do what is required to be done, in my own way but basically allow time to erase the problematic situation. Now, it is up to you whether you want to carry all these burdensome thoughts. The choice is yours. If you carry these feelings along, you will feel terrible and it will further lead to multiplication of these thoughts which will only lead to frustration, irritation, anger and so on. I have understood this and choose not to bother with this and would allow all my thoughts to pass and be at ease. Choice is yours you can share this with Shyam and Karthik and free yourself and your mind from this mental state and so can they. I would thank you instead, as because of you I have understood my inner behaviour and judgmental thoughts’.
Once someone asked me, ‘Sir, if you don’t talk about others, what is the fun in life?’ To that I asked him, ‘Why do people gossip about others?’ Gossip arises from a space of low self-esteem. We act according to how we feel and think. If we are not loved by others we tend to speak hostile about others. It’s a reflection of our innate feelings. Gossip and judgement go hand-in-hand.
The first thing to do is stop complaining about people. This is difficult at first but as one does it regularly one will find himself relaxed and calm. The easier way to do this is through meditation and ‘segment intending’ (put a reminder for self ).
‘Segment intending’ is a conscious process developed by Esther Hicks to remain rooted in high-vibration awareness. It involves verbalising high vibration thoughts at pre-defi ned intervals. What we do and recommend you to do is put an alarm at intervals of 1.5 hours and that becomes a reminder to you to take a pause every 1.5 hours. At this pause we can create our next 1.5 hours by focussing on what we want! If we do this habitually, our unwholesome thought process will gradually subside and all our complaints will disappear. We will save ourselves from falling into the judgement trap.
A Super Leader catches his/her thoughts, feelings and behavioural patterns and changes them to empower himself/ herself, to stay above judgement.