Excerpts from the book ‘A Complaint Free World’ by Will Bowen
Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby “ has never tried taking
candy from a baby.
Author Unknown
“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
In the Conscious Competence stage, one of the best thing a person can do is to simply
draw a deep breath rather than speaking out of hand. Complaining is a habit, and taking
a moment just to breathe gives you a chance to select your words more carefully. As a
reminder to take a breath rather than complain, we left the word “SPIRIT”
Silence affords us the opportunity to speak from our higher self rather than our human
self. Silence is a bridge to the infinite, and yet it is something with which many are
uncomfortable.
One of the ways we know we’ve met a person who is special to us is the amount of time
we can be with that person with no words being spoken. We’re simply comfortable in
their presence and enjoy their company. A lot of mindless jabbering doesn’t improve our
time with them, it makes it less precious. Talking a lot sends a message to those around
you that you’re not comfortable with yourself.
Silence allows you to reflect and to carefully select your words. It enables you to speak
of things you wish to put your creative energy toward rather than allowing your
discomfort to cause you to spout off a laundry list of grievances.
One of the questions I’m often asked is “But don’t you need to complain to get what you
want?” You can best get what you desire by expressing what you want rather than
complaining about the way things are.
You have a right to get what you deserve. To achieve this, don’t talk about or focus on
the problem. Focus BEYOND the problem. See it resolved. Talk only about what you
desire and only to someone who can provide it. You will shorten your wait time for what
you seek and be happier in the process.
Complaining is focusing on what we don’t want to occur. Were the great leaders of the
United States also great complainers? I’d have to say no. These important men and
women allowed dissatisfaction to drive them to great visions, and their passion for these
visions inspired others to follow them. Their relentless focus on a bright future raced the
collective heartbeat of this nation.
On August 28, 1963 , the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., did not stand on the steps of the
Lincoln Memorial and say, “Isn’t it terrible how we’re being treated?” No. He spoke
words that struck a chord with our nation and still bring tears to the eyes of those
hearing them nearly a half – century later. He did not focus on the problem, he focused
beyond the problem. He declared, “I have a dream !” Dr.King created in our minds a
vivid picture of a world without racism. He had “been to the mountaintop.’ “and his
powerful and inspiring words took us there as well.
Abraham Lincoln once said, “The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a
friend.” The first step to such a transition begins in our own minds, And our words tell
the world what we are thinking.
I have a friend who has always said, “I’m the luckiest guy in the world – everything
works out for me.” He has a beautiful wife and family, he owns a successful business,
he was as multimillionaire by age thirty, and he enjoys excellent health. You might say
he’s just lucky, with which he’d agree. I say it’s his belief that he is lucky that makes him
- So why not try what has worked for him? When something goes well for you, no
matter how small, say , “ Of course.”
Change the words you use and watch your life change, For example:
Instead of……. Try……
Problem Opportunity
Have to Get to
Setback Challenge
Enemy Friend
Tormentor Teacher
Pain Signal
I demand I would appreciate
Complaint Request
Struggle Journey
You did this I created this
“the kingdom of God is at hand.”
“The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell, of Heaven.”
Perhaps this is heaven, or at least I could make it so.
