Excerpts from the book ‘The Honeymoon Effect’ by Bruce Lipton
Make a mental list of what you are looking for in relationship. Fill in as many details as you can imagine, the more the better. This is an exercise that makes sure your conscious mind is creatively engaged in compiling the list. Details left out of your description, by default, will be determined by the subconscious mind, which if left to its own devices will list what your parents or your community believe would be a good relationship.
Write down the list in detail. As I said before, the more complete the details, the easier it is for your mind and the Universe to conspire in fulfilling your wishes and desires. Instead of “I want a great relationship,” describe in multisensory detail what you want in the present tense as if you already have it. How does it look? How does it feel? What does it sound like? Here is one example, albeit a very incomplete one: “I love my caring, open-minded, affectionate, smart life partner, and I feel completely supported during our quiet evenings laughing and sharing our life stories and interests.” By spelling out and broadcasting exactly what you want, you will manifest conscious and subconscious behaviors that will attract the kinds of relationship you want in your life.
- Review your subconscious programming
Since 95 percent of our behavior is controlled by our subconscious autopilots, not our conscious minds, by definition our lives are physical printouts of the behaviors programmed in our subconscious minds.
If, for example, you’ve struggled with money all your life, think back, as a number of financial gurus now counsel, to the programming you received about money when you were young and how that programming is still impacting your life. In her book the 9 steps to Financial Freedom, Suze Orman writes, “Messages about money are passed down from generation to generation, worn and chipped like the family dishes.” Orman, for example, learned very young that the reason her parents “seemed so unhappy” was not that they didn’t love each other but that there was never enough money to pay the bills. “In our house money meant tension, worry, and sorrow.”
You can, as now wealthy Orman did, undo even the most negative programming. And you don’t have to change your whole life! Just focus on the areas where you need help. Maybe money savvy comes naturally to you, but you struggle in relationships. No need to work on your subconscious programming regarding money. The things you like, the things that come easily to you, are already supported by positive subconscious programming-that’s why you experience them. How-ever, anything you have to work hard on, anything you’ve tried over and over to change with no success, anything you struggle to acquire-those are the areas that most likely represent limiting and self-sabotaging subconscious beliefs that need to be reprogrammed.
A note: Before you seek a loving relationship, make sure that fundamental belief-“I love myself”-is lodged firmly in your subconscious mind. A lack of self-love, as I explained earlier, is a primary and huge obstacle for most people who want to create the Honeymoon Effect in their lives.
- Start Reprogramming
Before we attempt to rewrite our behavioral programming, it is vitally important to understand the differing ways our conscious and subconscious minds learn. You might think that when the conscious mind learns something new, the subconscious program will automatically adjust itself to be in alignment with the new knowledge. Wrong! The two minds essentially behave as separate entities and do not “learn” in the same way.
When all four of your minds are aligned, you and your partner will become the same lovable people you were in the first days of your relationship.
In this chart, the three lower chakras (the solar plexus, sacral, and root) represent the influence of our physical biology, specifically our physiology, in shaping our lives. The top three chakras (the crown, third eye, and throat) represent the influences derived from our consciousness, our psychology. The middle chakra is the heart chakra, which represents unconditional love for self and others.
When all seven of the chakras in this illustration are aligned, there are no energy blocks; energy flows freely through every chakra. The heart chakra in the middle is purposefully large than the others because when you align your physiology and your psychology, when you love yourself so others can love you and you can love others, your heart will expand and open to your partner and to the world. By manifesting the life you choose, not the life you were programmed by your family to lead, you can have it all.
Welcome to the Honeymoon Effect!