Deep relationships are not built by making others understand you, but in giving other the confidence that you have understood them. For others to know that you have understood them, you need to communicate from the other’s perspective. To say, “I love you” is one thing; but to be able to say, “I know you love me” is completely a different thing.
By communicating from your perspective you win other’s mind. By communicating from other’s perspective you win their heart.
You have a rupee and I have one. We exchange it with each other. We still have a rupee each. This is transaction. I have an idea and you have an idea. We exchange, and now both of us have two ideas. This is transformation.
In a relationship, discuss issues and only issues, and it is a transactional relationship. Begin to invest issueless‐moment, and you will create a transformation relationship, where you will grow, the other will grow and the relationship too will grow.
Krishna evolved a transactional opportunity into a transformational opportunity. He volunteered to only be the charioteer but became change agent to Arjuna. He transformed Arjuna.
Let everything that passes by you gain value. Let every life that crosses your life be changed for the better. Add value to every relationship. Transform every transaction by adding value to it. Be an alchemist. In helping others to become better, you will become better. Let everything become better in your presence. Leadership is in evolving transactional opportunities. Lead the way…… Be a change agent. Keep going….. And, keep helping people to keep growing….
On the road, it is never the question of whose mistake, but it is the question of whose life!
The responsibility of, “not hitting” and “not being hit,’ both are yours and yours alone. On the road, if you want to be alive, you have to make adjustments. Blaming makes no sense. Similarly, in the road called life, in dealing with the traffic called relationships, it is not the question of whose mistake, but it is a question of whose life? In relationships too, if you want happiness, you have to make adjustments. Here too, blaming makes no sense. Your life is your responsibility.
A husband and wife are in a relationship and not a business deal. It is not a hug for a husband a slap for a slap. They mean a world to each other and to retain the right of being themselves, without worrying measure for measure! There is no barter in relationship. A relationship, is one where there is space for me and the other to make mistakes, learn, ask for forgiveness and carry on in the same manner. Had the person been my own mother, father or child? If these two things aren’t present then I better call it an acquaintance or business dealing, but definitely not terminate as our relationship.
Coal or diamond, as long as it is buried deep there is no difference. It is only when they are brought to the surface, there is a difference in the value of what a Diamond is and what a coal is. Unexpressed, sleeping, dormant emotions don’t build relationships.
If you love him, let him know in as my ways as possible. When your children change where you want them to change, make noise about it. Let them know in all the ways that you cherish the initiative of theirs. A behaviour recognized and rewarded will be repeated. Recognize them. Reward them. Why should we expect ingratitude from people? Let us build a world of gratitude. Let it begin from you.