What is Art?
Art is something which we describe as an expression of oneself. Any action can be described as an ART, be it dancing, painting, music, drama, cooking or even certain mundane activities like sweeping, talking, driving, doing business etc. It is a spontaneous expression of one‟s self and hence it is unique at any given time. For example, you may cook everyday but the instinct to do it differently or creatively makes for a new taste. Same is the experience for a musician. Each time he sings it has a new flavour and a new experience.
Now what is science?
Science is something, which when repeated over and over again under controlled conditions produces similar results. It‟s where the creation of a particular environment leads to the same conclusively proven results of hypotheses.
A Rishi is one who can convert an inner experience into a science, like Poojya Guruji, Shri Rishi Prabhakarji. A lot of people, including all great saints, have experienced Samadhi meditation in the past, but it was Poojya Guruji who gave it a scientific basis and introduced it in the SSY Program.
When it comes to Parenting, would we call it an Art or Science?
While handling children one feels that every time one handles a child, it is a different experience. One formula works for some time and suddenly it ceases to have effect and the child does not respond as he or she had had in an earlier situation when it had worked very well.
This Practical Guide provides various examples and aspects to handling children. Some may work beautifully in a given situation at one point of time and not so well in the same situation at another point of time. Some may work in a different situation and sometimes not in the situation that it has worked earlier. Sometimes, it may provide no results after days of efforts and suddenly when you least expect it, it may start deriving fantastic results. Some may not work at all. But surely, some tip, somewhere, will definitely come handy.
From this, one may conclude that Parenting is an Art, because every time, you handle the child, you have to do it differently. You have to be flowing in creativity, and spontaneity to change the tried and tested formulae when they do not work. This disciplines the child naturally, without any compulsion or force, without getting angry and without adopting any „carrot and stick‟ policy.
So, can we call it a Science too?
Well, the Art of Parenting can become the science of Parenting too, maybe not wholly, but in some measures, definitely. But I feel, as an experience, it is neither an art nor a science. An art has got its limitation, whereas science can always be refuted, it is forever evolving with new formulae and new hypotheses, hence I believe that Parenting is neither an art nor a science; Parenting is a knack, which comes naturally.
What makes this ‟knack‟ so different is that either you know it or you don‟t know it.
The knack is in being in tune with the child to such a degree that the very thought, the very expression, the very look of the child is perceived by the Parent, so that a Parent is able to verbalize the feelings of the child by just looking at him/her.
A number of mothers are able to experience this very easily. Even fathers have been seen having the same understanding of their child. Parenting is a beautiful experience and the greatest joy. Unfortunately, when we ask Parents, “Who gets to enjoy the children‟s company more, they or their GranParents?” almost all couples answer, “The Grand Parents?” because “they have the time.”
This is however not true. The deeper truth lies in the grandParents‟ realization that they had missed out on the Joy of Parenting in their own child rearing days, so this time round they don‟t want to miss it and are making up for that time that they have lost with their own children.
I believe, why wait for twenty years for this realization and enjoyment? Instead, have fun Parenting now, when you are new Parents. By the time you become grandParents; the joy of Parenting will come as a real bonus.
Your child is your Guru. You should be able to learn from your child. But we as Parents always try to teach the child instead. If Parents were to reverse their roles and start observing their children and learning from them, „instead of teaching‟ them, that alone is enough to show that they have the real knack of Parenting.
If you truly learn from your children and truly surrender to their incredible innocence, spontaneity, enthusiasm, lovingness and unconditional trust, you will find that your child has all the qualities that all Great Men have.
If you are a true learner, one who has truly surrendered to the child, you have got the KNACK OF PARENTING.