Opposites Are Complimentary – Part 1
An article from the book ‘Are you a SuperLeader?’ by Manoj J Lekhi.
I had read a very interesting book called ‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus’ by John Gray. Many intriguing aspects are brought up when we attempt to understand men and women. Man is like a rubber band and women are like waves of the ocean. This analogy implies the nature of a person. This basically means when a man is angry he simply needs to be left alone for a while. After sometime
when he has dealt with all his emotions he will bounce back. Whereas on the other hand when a woman is stressed out, she relieves her tension by speaking it out. Until a woman communicates her emotions, she normally feels anxious and uncomfortable.
For a man, he requires his space constantly. A man finds peace in solitude. And a woman feels relaxed while expressing herself. One of the main reasons for misunderstandings to occur between a man and a woman is lack of understanding
of each other’s ways of communicating. Basically, men when silent are resolving things within themselves and when women are silent there are hundreds of conflicts arising inside themselves.
A woman gets her problem resolved by speaking and sharing with others. She expects the same from men. Women insist and pester the men to share their thoughts and the turmoil that they are facing. They want the man to express all his feelings whereas the man loves to be alone, to introspect and resolve his own issues. This is one area where women and men misunderstand each other. Women misunderstand the silence of men thinking that men do not trust them and are hiding something from them. Because a woman likes to share everything, she feels confused and threatened when the man doesn’t verbalize and express his feelings. She perceives that he doesn’t trust her. Likewise the man also feels that the woman need not be so upset about her emotions and fi ghts and could try to resolve issues by herself rather than vocalize her feelings.
To make this situation harmonious, the man needs to simply listen patiently, calmly to the woman’s thoughts which are like waves and the woman needs to introspect and then articulate her emotions part by part to the man. She needs to remember that a man’s emotions are like a rubber band and he needs some time for himself to assimilate his feelings. This understanding will bring them closer to each other and will dissolve the minor outbursts of emotional turmoil between them.
This analogy can be explained saying that one operates from the right brain and the other operates from the left brain. All we need to do is understand each other. It is said that swans fight with each other but, they mate after each fight immediately. They mate for life. When we fight, we should always remember that love is always around the corner, the only dilemma being, to what intensity and to what extent the fight goes on.
A Super Leader understands both sides of the emotional spectrum. He understands both the yin and yang side of the universe – the east and the west. A Super Leader whether a man or a woman is at ease in all situations.