Excerpt from the book ‘Law of Forgiveness’ By Connie Domino.
The PESC Technique
Remember that a person’s higher self does not judge. This means their higher self will be supportive and will not reject you or what you have to say. The good things about using an “I” statement is that it helps prevent the person you’re communicating with from becoming defensive, in contrast to what happens when using “You” statements. “You” statements automatically place people on the defensive –and when we become upset, most of us automatically head straight a for statement that begins with “you.” For example, “you never listen. You are selfish. You hurt me terribly. You can’t be trusted. You always lie to me.
”Remember, a person’s higher self does not get bored, so you may talk as long as you like. After describing what you perceive the solution to be, you must communicate what will happen if no solution is reached. This is the “C” in the PESC model and stands for consequences. Next, you imagine in your mind’s eye the person’s higher self-accepting your communication and solution. You may also wish to imagine them replaying with positive and supportive statements about your viewpoints. Reaching Relationship Goals This is important because negative excuses can act as psychological and energy blocks or barriers. They can literally block your goals and dreams from manifesting. Since I don’t recommend that you work on more than three goals at a time, as soon as you meet one goal, you can add another if you so choose.
- But I’m still Angry… Working Through the Cycle of Healing When Forgiving. Thank Goodness GRATITUDE Every Day, list on paper, or to yourself, three to five things you are grateful for in your life. I kept a gratitude journal for a year, each day listing three things I was grateful for.
You’re the writer, Producer, Director and Casting Agent of Your Own Real‐Life Hollywood Production. You may not live in Hollywood, but if you can imagine your life as a feature film, stage play, soap opera, sit com or maybe even a show straight from comedy Central, you will greatly expedite your under‐standing of how you may have created melodrama in your life. The Law of Attraction teaches us that we have attracted everything we are experiencing in our life –both the good and the bad through our thoughts, feelings, prayers, actions, inactions and soul‐level decision. People are attracted to you and react to you not based on how you feel about them so much as how you feel about yourself. When you start enacting the Law of Forgiveness and begin vibrating at a higher level, those people will either change to vibrate at your level or they will leave your life, and new people vibrating at a higher level will take their place.
“Ninety percent of healing occurs when you are willing to let in the idea that your soul has lovingly created this situation for you”. He recommends that the forgiver should express gratitude to the person that they need to forgive for showing them the lesson their soul needs to learn. He believes that if we learn the lessons, then we don’t keep repeating them. However, if we don’t learn, we keep creating the same scenarios over and over with a different cast of characters. So, if you don’t like your soap opera or the script you have written and the actors you have cast, the good news is that you can change it. You can change it by changing your thoughts, feelings, actions, self‐talk and by working on forgiveness.
The first step is developing the awareness and then accepting the responsibility for the life you’ve created. The concept of “boulders.” Are there boulders in our lives blocking our energy that we are not even aware of. Now are you ready to forgive? Now go and call that list 2 people Break! Sharings of how you feel! Now SMS to 2 more people. How many of you get angry Anger and Forgiveness and Pain….. Can They Coexist? There’s an old Chinese saying, “After the Ecstasy , the laundry.” The main problem with Hollywood is that they show “the ecstasy” of the moment when the prince and princess kiss and decide to become one, but they never show ‘ the laundry’ – the lifetime of work that makes for a successful relationship. When going through the cycle of the healing process, it is important to understand what it means to be angry, and to recognize the importance of releasing that anger. Author Gray Zukav says, “….beneath anger lies pain, and beneath pain lies fear.” He believes we use anger to resist feeling pain. Gary says that we use anger in resistance to the world, life and other people not being the way we want them to be.
Gary continues by saying: Rage is an excruciating experience of powerlessness. Striking out in rage is an act of powerlessness. Obtaining revenge and proving guilt are expressions of despair and helplessness. Like the small animal that attacks the large animal, you have given up hope. There is nothing left to do except experience what you are feeling. Acting on anger, rage, vengefulness are your last resorts. They never work. The world continues to be other than you want it to be and the pain of that does not diminish. Instead, your anger increases.
- The Law of Forgiveness at Work.
Using the Forgiveness Technique to Assist Clients: For Coaches, Counselors, Therapists and Psychologists.
If you are a coach, counselor, therapists or psychologist, this section will be very helpful. If you are a client of one more of these practitioners you will want to give them a copy of The Law of Forgiveness for their personal library. Just like Kate, life coaches, therapists and counselors can really assist their clients by using the forgiveness affirmation.