By Poojya Guruji Rishi Prabhakarji
Normally the daughter-in-law is received as another house-help, another Shudra for the house. As soon as she comes into the family, the mother-in- law starts giving her instructions about how things are done in the house. The daughter-in-law is supposed to fall in line and do things exactly as she is told to do so in her new house.
So many restrictions are put on her, so many do’s and don’ts are prescribed for her that she is frightened out of her wits. The child, who has come from a different background into the completely new environment, just wants to run away from the house.
Now, I will give you different instructions on how to treat a daughter-in-Law:
A daughter-in-law must be received like a diamond that has been brought to the world, not just to your house.
A diamond does no work, it is only a show-piece. But, the mere presence of a diamond symbolizes prosperity and beauty of the house.
A daughter-in-law too has to be treated like a diamond. She should not do any work whatsoever. She should be just kept as a showpiece. Everybody should rush in and say “Didi, don’t do it. This is our work, not yours. You just sit quietly. Just be with us, enjoy yourself; we don’t want you do any work. You are the best guest we have ever had.”
In this state of love, with everybody looking after her so much and telling her to enjoy herself and not do any work, she begins to feel that she has come to heaven. In her parents’ home, she had to work. Here she doesn’t have to work.
Usually it is the reverse – at home she doesn’t have to work but when she comes to her mother-in-law, she is expected to do a lot of things. But with this new thought, if she is looked upon so nicely, and she doesn’t have to do anything, all her energy can be used for very important purposes.
What is the most important duty of a daughter-in-law in the house? She must give all her energy to have a beautiful child, the most beautiful child, because her energy is not spent in other ways. When that beautiful child comes, nobody lets her work again.
They say “No, you don’t do anything. This child is ours. You enjoy yourself. The new mother obviously wants be with her child and is thus happy to be given the freedom to do so.
After 2 or 3 kids she becomes so used to seeing, how other people are serving, how people are taking care of her and of others, that she automatically starts taking care of the house just the way she, herself, has been taken care of. She learns how to invite the next daughter-in-law in the house, just as she was invited.
That’s the beginning of a beautiful family where everybody would want to be a daughter-in-law, not a daughter. Today people don’t want to get married because of the frightening prospects perceived in the house of in-Laws.
But when this state changes then everybody will want to get married.