Q My son is 13 years old. In spite of constantly telling him to be polite and not to get angry, he is very short‐tempered. He gets angry even for small things. I find it very difficult to handle him.
Anger is basically an expression of helplessness. The feeling ‘I am not in control of the situation’ expresses itself as anger. However, talking about someone’s weakness won’t help them overcome that weakness.
The more you keep focusing on weaknesses ‐ both yours as well as others, the more you will fuel their growth. When I embrace strength, I weaken the weakness. All of us need a relationship in which we won’t be held against ourselves. I have my strengths and I also have my weaknesses. What I need is a relationship in which my lesser side is not constantly provoked and instigated. I want someone who will always relate to my better side. I want that one relationship in which my positives will always be brought to the surface, the presence of which will make my negatives fade away in the course of time.
Good parenting is not about nagging the child by rubbing him on the wrong side, but about showing him his right side and grooming his right side. Your son must be surrounded by a world that consistently brings his lesser side onto the surface. Take this parental challenge and consistently bring the higher and positive side of the child onto the surface and in due course, anger will drop by itself.