Excerpts from the book ‘SuperLeader Strategies.’ by Manoj J Lekhi (Amrut Vivek).
What are the fears we hold?
First we need to identify them. All of us have many fears including myself. I had so many and I am yet discovering the ones which I still hold. Some obvious ones are fear of snakes, fear of people – may be of mother-in-law, father-inlaw, husband, wife or child, fear of money, fear or insecurity of not having enough. Even if one has enough, there is always an insecurity of losing it.
Fears can be of different types and can vary from person to person, e.g. of your own looks – of being overweight or obese, may be fear of heights, fear of water, fear of fi re, fear of darkness, fear of losing your loved ones, fear of accidents, fear of mountains. Fear has been instilled in us since the time we were conceived. Fears carried by our parents transmit through the placenta to our genes to our system.
Tip # 1: Identify Your Fears
At our workshop we ask participants to complete a questionnaire which helps identify their fears. We give a lengthy list of various types of fears may be more than 100, and they tick all the fears they hold. Take a moment to identify your fears.
Tip # 2: Write Down Affirmations
Once you identify, the second step is to convert them into positive affirmations in positive present tense. For example, if you are fearful of heights, use the affirmation: I am atease when I go to great heights.
If you are fearful of snakes, use the affirmation: I am calm, peaceful and at ease when I see a snake.
In such a way make a positive present tense affirmation, an antidote to it. Basically you are telling your mind or brain that I have identified the fear and I know I am scared of this but I am reversing it. First you are becoming aware of it, then you are reversing it through your affirmation.
Tip # 3: Share it with others
Most of us have fears which we hide because we want to look good in front of others. What if I share? I feel inferior that I am not as good as others. Somewhere our ego does not allow us to show it, because if I share that I am fearful, I will be looked down upon by others. Sharing it with a close friend or few friends, just being vulnerable, just being open to your fears helps to break them. All of us have inner fears, it is just that some of us have worked on it and risen above them, like I have been doing since the last 27 years. Today I am able to hold a snake, jump from heights. I am able to do many things which I could not do earlier by simply applying these steps.
Tip # 4: Reframe Your Mind (RYM)
As we get 60000-80000 thoughts in a day, these fears will always come and go. When you see a horror movie, when you are walking in the dark, while you are driving, you will get fearful and umpteen fears will arise. At this time, use the technique of RYM (Reframing Your Mind).
I had of fear of accidents. So whenever I sit in a car, now I change the picture in my mind, this is what we call ‘Reframing Your Mind’. I change the picture. I have a picture of myself being safe, sound, and also speak it aloud: ‘I am having a safe journey from here to there’. So once I declare ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you, I am having a safe journey’ plus I put the picture in front of my mind, my fear disappears.
The brain gets the signal, ‘Yes, he knows what he wants’ and that is the way it will happen.
We have this principle which says: The brain is very clear with what it wants or it does not want. In other words, the brain will only process what we put in. The output is same as input. So if we give specific and clear instructions of what we want, that starts happening in our lives. If we put a picture of what we don’t want, for example, ‘I am scared of accidents’, ‘I am scared of snakes’, ‘I am scared of darkness’, that’s the instruction received by our brain and that’s exactly what happens with us and that’s exactly what we don’t want.
In order to dissolve the fears you are holding, put the picture of what you want with affi rmation. This is the fourth step.
Tip # 5: Act on it
The fifth step is to definitely act on whatever instruction you are giving your brain. Action is the most important step. Action gives a proof to the body that this person knows what he wants and is acting accordingly.
Manasa-vacha-kaya all three are in sync and that is exactly how our experiences are. Thoughts, speech and action, all three are in alignment. As for action, if you feel love for someone, immediately call or meet the person, send an e-mail or SMS, anything which is wonderful, empowering, share it and act on it 100%. You may share anything which is low,negative, fearful with your close friends but don’t take action on them as they may have some undesirable repercussions.
So, the fifth tip is taking action on empowering things and inaction towards not-so-empowering or limiting things. However, be aware of the fears you hold.
There are many ways to remove fears but the best way is to face it – if you are fearful of snakes, go, hold it. 90% snakes are non-venomous. Take help from of course someone who is well-versed with snakes. In our gurukul, I take the help of our children, 106 of them – most of them are very comfortable in lovingly catching and holding the snakes.
They have immense knowledge about snakes. I take their help whenever they catch a snake in order to shift it to a safer place. Gradually over a period of time, my fear not only disappeared but I started to enjoy holding it, loving it just like one loves dogs, cats or any other animal.
- Identify Your Fears.
- Write Down Affirmations.
- Share it with others.
- Reframe Your Mind (RYM).
- Act on it.