Excerpts from the book ‘Are you a Super Leader?’ by Manoj J Lekhi.
Are you living in the ‘Wow’ in all relationships?
Every moment can be a ‘Wow’ moment in our life. Let’s take relationships for example. For most of us, our relationships are an important factor influencing our emotional wellbeing. It is our connection and experiences with other people
that give our life joy, meaning and purpose. Every moment, every day we are interacting with so many people around us, parents, spouse, children, friends, relatives, boss, colleagues, neighbours and so on. Every day, we communicate with the people via phone, SMS, one to one and in various other ways.
Most of the time people are complaining or talking ill about another person. Somehow we have become the masters of finding some faults and complaints in each other. This makes our own self-esteem really low and one feels terrible about oneself. Constantly criticizing is even detrimental to the health as these unwholesome feelings form energy blocks which cause simple diseases like cold, flu, which could then culminate to migraines, hypertension, diabetes and even leading to fatal diseases like cancer. It will also lead to many unhealthy emotions like depression, loneliness, sadness and eventually to even suicide. In most of the cases, if we introspect in order to hunt for the cause of such emotions, and we would find out that, it is because of unhappy relationships. This can be easily reversed and one can instantly find the ‘Wow’ in every relationship one has.
What do we mean by ‘Wow’?
‘Wow’ means simply appreciating the other person. Simply observing the wonderful quality in that person. In fact, the person who is appreciating feels more wowed than the person who is getting appreciated. The person who appreciates is helping his own self-esteem to rise and he feels wonderful about life. People who can feel the ‘Wow’ can appreciate everyone in their life. This is like an energy circle. Appreciating someone raises our own feeling of self-worth which in turn enables us to recognize the higher qualities in others.
How does one find the ‘Wow’ in every relationship?
All we have to do is, fi nd some quality of another person, which we find wonderful about the other person and which we do not possess. Once we start appreciating that quality, we will notice the difference it makes to our relationship.
Let’s take the example of a husband-wife relationship. I am sure, wives do chores that the husband is not capable of doing and similarly, the husband runs errands that the wife isn’t inclined towards. We should simply appreciate the work that we cannot do, but others can do. Same goes with children, and your friends, neighbours and whomsoever. This way of looking at life will change the whole perspective.
All Super Leaders have learnt and practiced this art of appreciation. They recognise the goodness of each person and focus on the strengths of the person rather than fi nding their faults. Long time ago, one of my friends Philip told me, ‘If you like something then just say that you like it. If you cannot do something, then at least appreciate the person who has done it.’ Using this moment of awareness, we can really appreciate everything in life. Every single person in this world has done something or has some quality which we don’t have or have done. When you see a painting, appreciate the artist, because we cannot make that painting. When you see a movie, appreciate the actors as we may not be able to act like him. When you go to a restaurant, appreciate the food you eat, as we cannot make such type of food. So whatever we cannot do, we should recognize and appreciate the things that we cannot do but others can. Appreciation is a natural being of that state of mind. Appreciation is living in the ‘Wow’ in all relationships. I had read a beautiful book on ‘How full is your Bucket’ by Tom Rath which expresses this aspect very well.
Every moment can be a ‘Wow’ moment in our lives if we learn to appreciate everything for the way it is. If we observe, all the people around us are in some business or service doing something that we are not capable of doing. When we recognize that we are not capable of doing what they are doing; appreciation fl ows naturally. This can happen with you too. When we read about politics and politicians, we realize we are not capable of going through what they are doing. Same goes for sportsmen and other public figures. Let us appreciate them. Let us learn to find out what qualities that person possesses which we don’t have and we will experience the ‘Wow’ in that relationship. With people, this is the most beautiful state to be in.
Experiment for a few days and see how you can be in the ‘Wow’ in every moment, every single day, with every person you meet. Simply energize your relationships by recognizing and appreciating the wonderful quality in the other. Simply say ‘Wow’ to those qualities which you see in others. This is living in the ‘Wow’ in every moment with whomsoever you are.
A Super Leader appreciates everything he/she finds even slightly worthy and in that way maintains his/her ‘Wow’ all the time.